Attitudes regarding toy play vary in the fisting community. Some guys are ambivalent on toy play, while others have strong inclinations for use or for non-use. My personal journey into fisting and depth fisting began with toys. I used them for several years prior to taking my first fist. When the opportunity for fisting finally presented itself, my play partner and I were both surprised to see my hole take it deep—he just slipped in past his mid forearm. Ever since then, I’ve been an advocate of conditioning routines that involve toys. I’d like to share some insights from my experiences so that those who are non-toy guys can understand the mindset of toy players.
A Private Endeavor
For many guys, toy play is a very personal endeavor. This means their toy play is often done alone in private. For them, using toys in session with a partner is unfulfilling. Common reasons for this sentiment include:
- Increased perforation risk associated with toy play with partners.
- Systematic methodologies for insertion and use that are difficult to explain to partners.
- Limited arousal for both partners, especially if the top receives limited skin-to-skin touching that enhances connection.
- Modified pace of play with toys that is designed to increase abilities first and then progress to sensory overload.
- Less intensive cleanouts and chute preparedness—your toy doesn’t judge if your cleanout wasn’t perfect.
While partner play with toys can integrate these things, the effort required to do so diminishes the overall vibe of the session; therefore, do not be offended or upset if a bottom declines a toy play session with you.
Conditioning for Greatness
A bottom can develop skills with toys that translate to more intense brachioproctol penetrations. These skills include the following items:
- Desensitization of pressure receptors of the rectum and colon. Regular toy play makes it possible for a hole to take large objects without triggering natural reflexes for expelling rectal content. Specific exercises with toys allow this to occur.
- Penetration routines of the first ring. Toy play helps a bottom discover the secrets to opening his hole. If he is observant, he will notice that when a top replicates his toy play pattern, the initial hole pop is effortless. For example, my toy play taught me that constant, steady pressure on the ring will cause it to relax and open; whereas, my fist mate told me that twisting movement opens his ring. When we play with toys together, I sit on the toy and let gravity do its work. He twists down on the toy. Sure enough, when I top him, a simple twist and I’m inside his hole in under 30 seconds. Likewise, forward pressure allows him to slide in and up to the elbow in under two minutes.
- Augmentation of endurance capabilities and stroke/piston intensity. For those that love punching, toy play is the easiest way to build up the stamina for longer sequences of ass pummels. Regular self-play with rapid insertion and extraction of a toy allows you to impress the punch top with your ability.
- Relaxation techniques. Since there is no performance anxiety with private toy play, a bottom is able to really focus on activities that cause the nervous system to relax. He can then import these techniques into a fisting session to increase the intensity of play. For example, I have learned how to focus on the sensations in the fist chute, learn when poppers are actually needed, and experience the “here and now” when playing with toys.
- Synchronization of breath to insertions. The physiological aspects of breathing affect how a hole accepts an fist or arm. The pace of toy play, especially when alone, allows a bottom to experiment with breathing. This helps him determine whether inhalation or exhalation makes taking a fist easier for a bottom. It also helps him develop concentration abilities and relaxation techniques.
Toy Play Integrated into a Session
While some men enjoy pegging in their sessions, most are hungry for an actual hand and the connectivity between the top and bottom. Integrating toys into a session can cause it to flop or flourish. It may flop because toys are sometimes like condoms, a barrier to deeper intimacy. It may flourish, because both men are toy pigs, or a toy might be a precursor (or warm up) to greater intensity with the hand. For example, butt plugs may prime the hole for punching bliss, and depth toys may provide the appropriate stimulus for a cavern to open for a hand.
Personally, I don’t do a lot of pegging in any session. It bores the fuck out of me as a top. As a bottom, it worries the fuck out of me (I have a fear that he’s not able to sense irregularity or sensitivity in my hole, leading to a traumatic perforation). These may be concerns shared by other fisters, so if toy play is on the menu, make sure to discuss these concerns and any other thoughts, feelings, and expectations in advance.
My favorite way to toy play with another involves an investment, but I’ve found this type of play extremely erotic. It requires both partners to be comfortable with toys, and it requires both partners to have the same toy. Here’s how it works:
- Position the toys very close to one another, so that each guy is within intimate kissing distance: the closer the better.This will require some experimentation as to where to place toys relative to each bottom. I’ve discovered a position that allows me to cradle my partner to control his depth on the toy. I keep our toy depths similar so that we are experiencing the same sensations simultaneously.
- Mount the toys, facing each other.
- Take a deep hit of poppers and start making out as you both attempt to hilt the toy.
- Once at the base, begin pistoning up and down on the toy, continuing to make out. Share popper breaths.
For me, the intensity of this toy play is extreme, and despite being poppered up with a huge toy, this will trigger a nut (either during play or immediately after dismount).
Toy play can be a valuable and fun tool in a fister’s toolkit. It’s not for everybody though. Some prefer keeping toy play to themselves, while others enjoy bringing toys into a session. Bottoms are able to learn a lot about themselves with toy play and can use their toy play sessions to develop the hole they desire.